ECHOES, thanks so much for your answer. You gave me an example of how to express anger "appropriately" (I have never known what people meant by that vague term). I really need concrete examples since I haven't had role models, and you provided just that. ((((hugs)))) Thanks for sharing that. I'm going to copy your post and save it so I can refer back to it if I ever forget.

Right now I wouldn't feel able to say to someone "I feel angry," because I'm not sure I do feel that, and also it would be very, very scary for me. It would be opening oneself up for more hurt and abandonment and rejection. I imagine that if I said to people "I feel angry" or "I feel hurt" or whatever, they would simply say "I don't give a s**t how you feel, get over it," and I would be hurt even more. (That has certainly happened before, and I guess I have "learned" from my mistakes.)

Becca, that could be really helpful to bring your mother with you to a session. I would be very interested to hear what you decide on that. And if you find it helpful. My T has suggested a couple of times that he could really help my relationship with my mom if I would bring her to therapy with me. It's an area he does a lot of work in--mending relationships between adults and their parents. But it's not what I want to work on now, with other more problematic and high priority relationships pressing on me. So the next thing is maybe I would bring my husband to therapy with me. T and I are talking about that now. Kind of terrifying.

DepressMe, it sounds like you have a really great relationship with your boyfriend. [/cheers]