I have struggled with ppd myself. One thing you need to keep in mind is: it is an illness, something wrong in your brain. It is not who you are, and you did not bring it on on purpose. Getting better is a slow process, but you WILL feel normal again. It's easy to add to the problem by thinking you are not a good mother because you are not enjoying your baby like you think you should. This is not true. If you are taking care of the baby (and your partner) to the best of your ability, then that is all you can do. You will be able to do more and better when you start feeling better. Also, if the meds your OB gave you don't seem to be working, be sure to tell the psychiatrist. They work slowly, but it is not unusual to have to try several before hitting on the right one. I will pray that things get better for you.