I can relate to that feeling, to be honest I can't really think of much reason to keep living much longer...but when I actually think of acting on some plan I try and go to the ER and what not end up in the psych ward till I feel like I can manage a little better for a while longer.....because I don't really want to upset family/friends, but then they are still upset cause 'oh no I'm in the hospital'....so even that's a fail.

Also I hate that it puts me in a position where I could suffer even more distress at the hands of incompetent or sadistic mental health 'professionals' haven't had that yet. No advice really but I know feeling like ending it sucks.