I'm so sorry you are going through this. You have to fight the darkness. I don't know where you are, but if you really feel like hurting yourself, PLEASE call 911 or your local emergency number. There is help available after hours and weekends. Try thinking positive thoughts and repel the negative. And don't be afraid to reach out for help from your friends and family. They care more than you know, and might seem busy, but I'm sure they would rather take time to help you than see you suffer. Here's a big hug (((())))