Quote:
Originally Posted by BDPpartner
Thank you for replies 
I think my main worry really is that I don't want to be alone without family when I am in my twilight yrs, I expected that I'd have remained close to my nephews and nieces but my siblings have turned their back's because of their ignorance about my partners illness. And I worry that although I/we would cope my partner would resent my decision. . . .
I say my decision because he has made it clear as far as he is concerned it is exactly that my decision  he tells me he's 50/50 as to whether it is appropriate for us to become parents, but when he told me his views led me to believe that if I do choose motherhood I will be dealing with a lot of things on my own and when things get hard (which I know they will, I'm not naive) his attitude is likely to be you made your bed lie in it !
What to do ? Dammed if I do and dammed if I don't  |
Please do not have children just to keep yourself from being lonely. I don't think that's fair to any potential babies, nor does having children guarantee you any future relationship when they're adults. You already sound like your hands are full, and you can't imagine how much time and dedication (and money) it takes to raise children well. Your chronic pain and his lack of empathy, and the resentment you anticipate: none of those make for a good foundation for a little one. If you really want children, it sounds like it would take a significant investment including marriage counseling to be ready to give them the love, time and security (emotional and physical) that they need. If you want support and company, invest in friendships, support groups, etc. and get an insurance plan that guarantees you good in-home care when/if you need it in your later years, as you mention that's a concern.