Hi Emma,

I am sorry you are going through this.
Please keep in mind that I am not a therapist and I do not have the training to diagnosis you...but what you have described here sounds like the "intrusive thoughts" type of OCD. Please see the "intrusive thoughts" heading in the link below:

The Different Types of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder | OCD-UK

Does the information sound like what you are going through?

Is there anyone at all you can talk to about this if not your parents? Maybe a school counselor or a school social worker?

Please know that you can get help with these thoughts and that having them does not mean you will act on any of them; in fact, it's pretty much the exact opposite.