In one of my psychology classes, we talked about the phenomenon of learned helplessness whereby organisms in bad situations start out optimistic about their ability to escape and then eventually accept that there's no point in trying anymore. Then, if they do wind up in a situation where there is a means of escape, they don't take advantage of it because they don't believe there's a point in trying.

There was a study whereby researchers delivered shocks to two different groups of dogs. One group was in an apparatus that they could escape, while the other group had no way to escape the box or cage (I forget which it was). At first, the dogs who couldn't escape tried to find a way to escape, but eventually they gave up and just sat there while they got shocked. Then, when they transferred those dogs to an apparatus that did have a means of escape, they still made no efforts to escape because their mental states had become so altered that they were no longer capable of seeing a way out even if it were right in front of them.

I feel like this is what happened with me over the course of many years. When things started to go downhill, I was very optimistic that circumstances were only temporary. I figured I'll graduate, get a job, have a career, get away from my abusive family situation, meet someone to start a relationship with, find a good doctor to pinpoint the source of my mystery neurological issues, etc. and it would all eventually work out. Then many years went by, and every effort to better my life led to a brick wall. I graduated and applied to hundreds of jobs but heard back on maybe two or three, which I didn't get. I enrolled back in school to take pre-med classes because I figured I would go to med school and secure a future career for myself. But since I couldn't find a job, I ran out of savings and had to move back in with my abusive sister and stop taking classes. I found a freelance writing job that nets me some money but not enough to afford an apartment here. I researched and discovered that rent is much cheaper in some midwestern states, so I considered moving to one of those and then work on saving up money with freelancing and continuing to job search there away from my family. Except even though I have enough money to afford the cheaper rent, I can't get approved at any of those apartment complexes because they all have rules about how you have to provide proof that you make like 4x the annual rent and have had a stable income for a while. I also went to numerous doctors who all told me something to the effect of, "Eh, you're young. There's no reason to do any further testing to find out why you have all of these symptoms," so I wasted a bunch of money I would otherwise have and got nowhere at all with it. I developed really bad chest pain at one point and had an abnormal EKG, but then I wasn't able to afford further testing to see if something is wrong with my heart, so I'm just stuck hoping I don't randomly have a heart attack or whatever one day. While I was taking the pre-med classes, I went to my school's counseling center to seek help for my worsening depression and was shoved out the door because they only help full-time students. I didn't have any money for an outside therapist, and there are no free alternatives here, so I just accepted that people like me deserve to be depressed since we're not smart enough to find the funds to pay for help.

Time after time, I just hit a brick wall until eventually I think I just accepted that there is no winning in this life for me. It seems like every aspect of society is stacked against me. Logically, I know that there is probably still a chance of having a better life someday, but I no longer really believe it. I'm not sure I could even be happy if I did get to a "better" place in life because I think I've lost my ability to enjoy anything. I feel completely defeated, hopeless, and valueless, and I think the phenomenon of learned helplessness has a lot to do with it.

Anyone else think learned helplessness has anything to do with how they wound up in their current mental state?