I'm 19 and I started drinking at the age of 16. At the time it was just a social thing. And then it continued to seeking out social situations that would allow me to drink. Then I started drinking just to drink. The entire time telling myself that it was just to 'reward' myself. I would tell myself, "Everyone needs a break, right?" I'm now to the point of binge drinking everyday and smoking weed to offset the effects of a hang over. I also experiment a lot with pills. I'm not addicted to any specific pill, but I want to do anything fun I can get my hands on. I do research about them beforehand, but still. I mix them with things which is very dangerous. I'm on 4 psychotropic medications that you are NOT supposed to mix with alcohol. I feel like I'm playing Russian Roulette with my life and I don't even know where to start to get help. Rehab/Outpatient/hospitalization is not an option for me.

List of drugs taken (for non medical purposes): Molly, Alcohol, Cigarettes, Adderall, Vyvanse, Xanex, DXM, Pot, Pot laced with cocaine, Klonopin, Vicodin, Ambien.