Quote:
Originally Posted by BDPpartner
Finances is not a worry, yes raising children is an expensive business but that's something we'd cope with.
As for those of you who take issue with the fact I want to be around/part of a family in my older years; it isn't a crime. I have a close relationship with my mother talking to her on the phone most evenings and I believe family is important so why is it an issue that I worry about not having that in later life ??
I'm not naive to the work, energy and emotional rollercoaster that having a child poses. That is why I'm taking the process of making the decision so seriously unlike one hell of a lot of people !
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It's not an issue that you worry about it, but that you'd state your primary reason to have a child was to use them to fill your needs.
You should be there to fill theirs, not the other way around. I'm just not sure you're in a place to give as much as is needed based on the conflicts and issues you've shared as well as your husband's take on the issue and it seemed like you could have support and companionship other ways.
And if your nephews and nieces were put off, I think there's a good risk of that happening with a biological child too- if your husband's illness manifested enough to cause some rift, that's going to continue to be an issue I imagine, but that's really not so key a point to me as the one I made above, something to think about.