Hi suzzie, maybe time to look for another T then, hey??!! I mean depending on what you've been through there may be some areas that you're going to have long term difficulties with, there may be areas that you need to make some life changes/allowances to accommodate for but that doesn't necessarily have to mean that this is all you are/all you can be.
And don't let the "for so long" necessarily dictate your future either. Time doesn't have to be a deciding factor on whether change is possible. There are so many things that can contribute to making changes which don't have an limited time scale/use-by-date stamped on them including getting really good support/help.
And as for being locked from the world, maybe for now from some aspects of it?? But don't forget the areas that you are truely alive in, don't let them go, and don't let go of the possibilities of some other doors opening too with some real help.
And if your T isn't up to it............time to be looking around for one that is???

Alison