Quote:
Originally Posted by BDPpartner
It isn't my Nieces and Nephews that have been put off as you have phrased it. In fact I do occasionally see them the problem that my siblings are ignorant about mental health illnesses believing that anyone suffering from them should be locked away from 'normal' people and worse than their ignorance is their unwillingness to listen or learn about the subject. My siblings have therefore with drawn any and all contact with myself, however if I'm visiting my parents on my own I see the kids when they're dumped on my parents.
Most people who have children do it to fulfil their own needs/wants . . .
If it was purely an act of selflessness more people would adopt as a first resort ! But years of evolution and preservation of the human species means we are drawn to pass on our genetic material !
|
The argument that any action is acceptable simply because others have taken that action is faulty, flawed logic. Just because something seems common to you doesn't make it inherently right or good, nor does being drawn to do something mean we must. Please don't abandon a moral compass because you're blinded by your fear of loneliness. You are raising a reasonable question: given all your issues and your husband's issues and reticence, is having children right for you- and really, I hope you would ask, is it right for *them*. The future's too unpredictable at any rate to bank on having the child and relationship for which you hope, as others have alluded. If you're willing to have a child to serve your needs, I hope you will invest in the marriage counseling and other work planning how you'll manage the labor-intensive care (physically intensive, emotionally intensive, financially intensive) needed given that you already deal with care-taking your husband and trying to manage your chronic pain, to prepare to give that child its best shot at a good life.