I just think you are too hard on yourself and letting California to get to you more than needed. Again, I think you could get out if you wanted to.
Us coffeeshop intellectuals like to whine about how the USA brought us crisis, with their unrealistic mortaged lifestyles.
That is my point. Maybe the whole unrealistic standards aren't really something to aspire to. Pay money you don't have to spend on things you don't need or want to impress people you don't like? Don't get me wrong, it's happening in Prague.
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I believe I have done incredibly well considering that I am quite bipolar. I have raised wonderful children and I have traveled a lot, and will travel in the future when the money is (hopefully) there.
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So why shame over not having fancy car or money to blow on overpriced meals?
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