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"Just as an example, I held onto bulimia because I wanted to be thin, beautiful, coveted, admired, and appreciated. Once I admitted this to myself (I denied it mentally for years, because I didn't want to admit I was so shallow)"
That stigma makes my blood boil. Maybe that was the reason for you to binge/purge but FAR FAR from the reason for my bulimia. Body image had nothing to do with my eating disorder. With the help of a empathetic talented therapist he helped release the original trauma associated with it, helped me regain emotional resilience and I am finally in what I can call recovery.
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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