Hello Grrr (please let us know if it is ok to call you that for short, or if you prefer something else). You remind me of myself and of my sister and brother. We have a controlling mom too. I'm the oldest, and I left home a long time ago, but I'm still acting out being in the same trap. I have a sister who is 33 and still at home, and I wish that I could help her escape because she has so much potential and I don't think she knows it, and she could take care of herslf just fine, but I don't think she knows that either. My brother killed himself last month at age 29. I wish that he could have seen other options for himself, but he really didn't believe that he could do anything with his life. He never got the chance to try.

I am glad that you are giving therapy a try. Please tell your therapist how you really feel about all that you posted here. You do deserve better, just like me and my brother and sister. I hope that you will tell us more about yourself and what you like to do and what you are interested in. Maybe we can help you discover what else you could do with your life. Do you do anything else, besides going to therapy and group therapy? What do you do with all of your time when you are home? How about when you go out? If you had no limitations and could do anything that you wanted, what would you do?

As for how to tell your therapist, you could print out your posts, or write a note, or just come right out and say it. A couple of the things you wrote that I would pay attention to really fast if I were your therapist are that you feel suicidal and feel that there are more reasons to do it than to be alive; and also that your mother locks you in the house; and that you are hopeless about the future. And I would ask questions like I asked you above because I would like to find out what kind of things you would rather be doing with your life, and help you to take steps towards those things.

Please do keep us updated and let us know how it is turning out.

Hope and best wishes for you,
Rap