I had a very upsetting experience on Thursday. I think I dealt with it well, but wondered what others might think.

I had a new memory come up, and my go to is to call a crisis line and tell them about it. Not because I need to be counseled through it but because I need someone to hear it so that it doesn't feel like a shameful secret. This gives my younger parts more power than when it was all happening, and helps me to calm down.

So Thursday I had one come up and called a crisis line. It was out of my area but I've been encouraged to use it in the past. The line is run by a shelter/agency supporting women who have experienced abuse. The lady who answered recognized my voice from a call a few weeks ago and asked if it was me and did I have multiple personalities. I told her it was and she said she wasn't comfortable to talk to me, because she wasn't a qualified therapist. I told her I didn't need a therapist I just needed someone to listen buy she wouldn't talk to me and told me I needed to call a mental health line.

For the first time in my life I got upset, on the phone to her, and asked to speak to her supervisor. I did very well at not being rude buy making it clear I was upset with her. She told me her supervisor would give me a call and then started to care about my feelings. I ended the conversation and had to call another crisis line because of this call.

Later that night I wrote a letter to the supervisor (I found her email online) and emailed it off. I didn't want her to only hear the worker's side of the conversation and I didn't want to leave it over the weekend in case I calmed down and wasn't as assertive ( I tend to be fairly passive in real life). In the letter I reminded them that it's against the law to refuse services based on a real or perceived diagnosis. If I'd been calling and needed help with my diagnosis and she didn't know how to counsel me through it that would have been a different story and I could see her referring me on. But I didn't need Amy help with dissociation at all. I'm really upset by this.

Has anyone else had experiences like this? How did you handle them, and what would you do in my instance? I didn't threaten or accuse anyone of breaking the law, or attack anyone personally. I just made it clear that it wasn't okay. I'm just really tired of people being afraid to talk to me because of my diagnosis, or not listening to what I actually need.

The other call I'd made before was one where I'd switched and my five year old was asking them to talk to me about everyday topics to help me switch back. It's the fastest way to do it as those are conversations that I perform and it tricks my brain back into thinking like an adult. That time again, this lady, and then the therapist she put me through to, wouldn't listen or believe that that's all I needed. Instead what would have taken two or three minutes ended up taking over am hour because they tried to make her talk about emotional issues.

Sorry for ranting, I'm just not very impressed. How do others assert themselves in treatment, and get the help they need? Am I just weird for knowing specific strategies and wanting to use them before trying other ways??
IJ