Background: I'm in the 8th month of therapy with the only T I've ever felt comfortable with. In the past I've seen a few others with not much connection or length of treatment.

So my situation with this T is that I have very strong feelings!! Toward him, about him?? I'm female and he's male but it's not sexual or at least it's mostly something else, so I guess I need to label this attachment or transference. When I'm away from him I feel ok thinking about this somewhat intense relationship (from my perspective) and it seems like I will be able to address it in person... then... nope! I get sooo freaked out in front of him and do anything to avoid talking about it. This is driving me crazy, pretty much literally! I have past trauma (even though I hate that word) and a messed up family of origin. I feel very scared about being too needy/intense with my T.

So my question is... has anyone been through this "awkward" therapy phase of avoiding the topic of your strong feelings for your T (possibly for months!), then making it through that and having a better experience afterward? I'm trying to convince myself that it will be worth the anguish of talking about what seems impossible to even bring up, in order to start doing the real work.

Thanks so much for reading I really appreciate this community!