Sorry Sundance... no one deserves these kinds of feelings....

I'm confused though... but then, you and I often post in different terms, so this is a normal state for me. You don't need to ever answer, but at some point, if you wish, tell me how you absolutely know he molested you. I mean, wait, no-- look at only what I'm reading here.
You were passed out. You never confronted him with what you suspected. You had body sensations. You file additional things he says as references to your molestation.

In any event this is a bad situation that has continued to "haunt" you... and has become somewhat traumatic. That's a bad thing. Since it has been such a long time, I think it might be time to think about how you can confront him, and settle it once and for all. Not being sure, and allowing him to control the issue is not healthy.

try to find the truth... finding that is tough when you have PTSD, I know.