Dear Nummy,
" I hate being weird, being different, talking out if turn, being the ugly awkward duckling black sheep of the family. I hate being me."
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I have many of those feelings myself. And then I associate with my healthy support system and my few really close friends and the world and my part in it begin to look completely different. When you're around people that always talk down about you it's a matter of time before you start believing the things they say.
I'm curious why you are the "black sheep?" The "weird one," the "awkward ugly duckling?"
I'd really like to hear from you and find out why you feel the things you do at the moment?
Maybe it's not you that is all these things - but your family?
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We are special in our own way.