Hi
Diversity is one of human characteristics that upsets society the most. Society tries to uniform us, maybe it's just an economy of energy issue, I do not know. That is way when we stand out for the "wrong reasons" society excludes us, calling us crazy or abnormal. People take a great time and psychological energy to deny or hide practices or habits that in fact belong to their intimacy or privacy. If you had a friend in emergency, you could maybe learn about all the "weirdness" they see everyday. Also, cops and psychologists could tell. Unfortunately, all those professions have been trained to "normalize" people that is why sometimes we don't find good help but judgemental attitudes from them. Perhaps I am wrong but to me partly you believe you are meant to be depressed because you have internalized society mandates. We, people with mental health issues, "bother" society somehow. Despite recent advances, in a very profound manner, there is this idea of that there is something radically wrong in us and that we are here just to ruin their party. Well, that it is not true. You have the right to exist as everybody else. Also, you have the right of being in this way you are at the present moment. Nobody can question your value, even yourself because of your mental health condition or habits to keep yourself going. Of course, you have the right to aspire a better life, so it is your right to seek for treatments, and to chose the ones that suit you best