I know about feeling stuck ... And about uncertainty about what I am feeling ... And the desire to numb myself ... And to move forward and do whatever to get it done.

You have been through a lot of pain, change, and growth in the time you have posted here - almost a year. And the end of your first term at the university was particularly challenging, so I think it may be natural to need a break. But you also recognize you need to push on I your quest for effective therapy so you can feel whole and at peace. So that conflict may make your mind say "I'm confused and overwhelmed".

With me in that place, I will often suddenly get "the answer" and think know which way to proceed.

Jane, in the year I have "known" you through this forum, you have faced up to you challenges with more courage and dignity by far than you give yourself credit for. You don't quit - it isn't a valid option for any of us. But if you decide you need a break, don't second guess yourself - you can go back to therapy, you know.

You are an awesome woman, never forget that.