I must be an idiot because I have no clue if I fought or froze. I was there and I know I did what I had to do to survive. I feel I fought but I also used denial as a means to achieve it. It seems to me that denial is a form of freezing?

I guess to me it doesn't really matter because I'm here and even knowing what I know today~ I would not have did anything different.
Teacake you said, "Recovery seems to be about going back to old fights knowing what we should have done."
There is no "should have" for me. Does that mean I am not in recovery?