I kind of found and started work with my therapist on accident. She sees adults and kids, so she was actually seeing my daughter for her difficulty with processing emotions (and other struggles). I liked the therapist, she always is calm and nothing--- not even my child's outbursts and meltdowns-- seemed to phase her. So I agree that you need someone who can handle the big emotions. I like that my T is able to explain trauma, PTSD, symptoms, body reactions, ext to me. She seems to always be able to explain why I do something or why I have certain reactions. I don't know if that makes sense---for example when I told part of a trauma memory, I admitted to having pieces missing from my memory and at the same time, remembering small insignificant details. I always thought I was crazy, or something was wrong with me for this, but she told me it made perfect sense-- it's a normal reaction to an abnormal, traumatic experience. Things like this seem to happen frequently in therapy for me. I will talk about something that I think makes no sense, or that makes me feel crazy and she will have an explanation and understanding of what I am talking about.
One last thing, my T's main goal with me is to make me feel safe. So rather than talk about my traumas at the beginning, we talked about symptoms and she worked on helping me establish safety in her office. Now, I have begun to share more, but it's always my choice, always up to me to lead. At my first appointment, I couldn't even bring myself to talk. It was horrible, and embarrassing. I asked her to talk, and so she did. She talked about trauma, PTSD, ext. But she also told me I was in complete control of anything that happens in our sessions, that I could even tell her where to sit, have her turn around and not look at me, basically whatever I needed to feel safe. I have seen a lot of shrinks, and I have never had someone give me that kind of control over my therapy. It was relief and made me feel very safe. I don't know if any of that helps, but good luck in finding someone!