I have not seen or spoken to my son in ten months. He is addicted to meth and finally stole from me. I told him if he ever did this that I was done. I grieve this every day. It's different than someone dying. It's like they die every day. I came across a picture of him that was taken when he was just over a year old. He was so happy. I have a lot of guilt for things I did or didn't do when he was younger. I so want to call him and see him, but I also know he needs to grow up and figure things out for himself. I told him I would always be there for him as long as he was clean and sober, but also told him that I cannot be his therapist. My Mother was bi-polar and so am I and I know my son displays a lot of the same behaviors. I have begged him to get help, but he wouldn't do it. I know from experience that the only person who can change you is you. I want so badly to call his Dad whom he lives with and has Parkinson's, but he has enabled him the most by allowing him to live there. He has stolen everything of value from him to get drugs. I have heard nothing from him since the last time we talked about our son last September. As a mother knowing my child is suffering is the worst pain I've ever felt. Every day I grieve about this and have even asked God to take him rather that let him continue to hurt, even at his own hand. I know that must sound terrible, but at least if he was with God I would know where he is and that he is no longer in agony.