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freewill said:
... so you would think that I could do that - use my self will, determination to get better...

You can! That's the beauty in life! Whatever you set your mind to, regardless of the struggles that come with it, you can achieve. You have the world at your feet, so why pass up the oppurtunity to become more than you could imagine possible? Call me a hypocrite, its cool, although I am struggling greatly with my ED, I never give up hope. I know one day I will be ED-FREE. There's more to live for than this. There has to be, because before all this, what mattered? Everything. Family, friends, school, jobs, laughter, hope, motivation, determination. The things in life that mattered then, surprisingly enough, matter more now than they ever did.

You can get through all this. We all can. I apologize for my extreme optimism, but I know God gave me this struggle for a higher purpose than to one day die from it's grasp. It's refreshing to have a better outlook on the future, but again, this is just how I see things. I see things better, whether it happens or not, its nice to think that atleast I could imagine what life could have been. Use your determination and strong will to be better, be the greatest. Do something with your talents. Do something with your life. It is too precious to let fall to the drivel of a distorted mind.

Good luck with everything, although I am a stranger and know nothing about who you are, what you've done or where your coming from, but I know you deserve more than the condemnation of an ED.