I used to be fit and trim--about 115 pounds, very muscular. When I became ill with PTSD and other things, the psych meds made me blow up to a size that I barely recognized. Now I don't take those meds but the weight has not gone. I didn't do anything like binge eat, or eat bad foods. I got very inactive though.

And what I found out just recently is that I was actually eating way too little, about 500 calories, which is not enough for anyone to sustain themselves. I didn't do it on purpose so when I found out I started eating more and to my surprise I started losing weight even though I was eating 2-3 times what I was.

I had suppressed my metabolism so much that it was barely functioning. I was sick the first week I started eating again, at only 1000 calories. Toward the end of that week I was able to start exercising when I just didn't have the energy before.

Thing is that I weigh way too much for my size and probably need to lose 40 pounds or more. It's hard to wake up to that reality. Feel awful about your body and the way you look and feel, but then none of it is my fault. I didn't overeat to gain this weight and cutting calories is obviously part of the problem.

I just don't feel I fit anywhere or am understood. I also have depression and thyroid so reasons that keep me at a lower level of energy. I'm starting to see some changes, but it's very slow. And I don't feel very positive in general.