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If you look at shame and guilt, guilt being 'I have done something wrong, I have misbehaved or I have made a poor decision or choice", and shame being "I am wrong, I am bad, I am shameful or dirty'.
And you look at what kids are told in terms of you ARE bad, you ARE stupid, you ARE an embarrassment...you can easily see how these messages are internalized and self-images of being corrupted or bad or not worthy, can destroy self-esteem and leave us feeling embittered and alone. Inherently different and less.
This is why it is traumatizing and called verbal and emotional abuse.
It can come about in childhood and in later life as well.
I liked what you quoted by Ms. Beltran... I think two words that were not in the list were being cherished and validated.
[I'm sure Ms. Beltram probably deals with them later in her book.]
In the end, you have no way to internally dispute what someone has ingrained in you. Part of healing is the constancy of real reflection by someone that sees what is good and positive and right in you.
And, to voice things and have someone validate your thoughts and ideas and emotions as real and valuable, instead of criticizing them or ignoring them. That validation is critical.
This healing does take a lot of time and consistency. It takes a long time for those messages to be internalized, and a long time to reverse them, but yes, I think they be can be changed/reversed with professional help and support and reassurance.
Thanks for the thread. I'm so very sorry that you were treated so atrociously. I hope you do find the healing you and we, all deserve.
Wysteria
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Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your heart.
Who looks outside, Dreams...
Who looks inside, Awakens...
- Carl Jung
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