I'm a gay man who's lover decided to call it quits after nearly 25 years. To a degree, the relationship was toxic: we could, at times, bring out the worst in one another. But my memories (selective?) are if the times we brought out the best in one another. We were such a great compliment to one another. Now that he's gone, I feel completely lost without him. Sadness fills my days and it's difficult to think of anything but what once was. My mind keeps returning to this no matter what I do. Somehow, I can't see my future without him. And yes, there are times when life seems like a futile exercise to me. Therapy isn't covered by Medicare in this state, and even if it was, the copays would be beyond my financial means. If you've any ideas about how I can access proper mental health care, please share them with me. I don't want to feel this way anymore. Thanks.:sinking