Hi DSM, thanks for everything thus far . I've got some deep-seated issues that I haven't shared here yet, and I think I need some counselling or something. But, I think there are a few points that give me trouble and make me think the way I think, here they are:

- I'm pretty sure my dad has Asperger's, I see much of my behaviour in him too, and I think that's where I got it from. I've been watching my dad and my mom's relationship since I was a child. My dad has only ever known how to "provide", how to be a "breadwinner", and he lives that role. He has established himself as that, and my mom is the "homemaker", and she is fully dependent on him alone. His attitude is clear, he feels that he makes the much greater contribution in the relationship, since he provides. He feels my mom's role is easy and subordinate quite frankly, and he has no problem reminding her either. Also, he constantly reminds me that he is doing it for "us" (my mom and I) and he is doing it for me. The bottom line is, he feels that is his only role and that he is doing more than enough already, the husband's role is bring in the money and the wife and child should be more than satisfied. My mom has never had any kind of emotional support in their relationship. Their marriage is a financial arrangement, there's no other way of describing it. My dad is always distant, doing his own thing, until he wishes to "interfere" with something and lay down his authority as the family head.

- I can't approach women "that way". I feel disgusting and overbearing, like I'm giving her unwanted inappropriate attention. I feel like this always, every single time. I feel like they don't want my attention, that they are disgusted by it. With prostitutes it's easy, because they know why I'm there. With them they know that I seek sex. With ordinary women, it always just seems like they want to be friends and no more, it's ALWAYS like this. Their body language gives me the message loud and clear. I can see they're OK with me being a friend, but would be totally grossed out if I "made a move". It's been like this with every single girl I've ever known. They are disgusted by the thought of ever being with me in "that way".

Knowing all of this put's me out of the game essentially. I feel like a disgusting pig that is trying to take advantage of women. Any sexual behaviour feels inappropriate and feels like I'm doing something wrong or violating her in some way. I don't think I'll ever be able to do a relationship. I have too many issues.