Thankyou for your replies and sorry for your brothers death and yes Grrr is fine, when I'm not at group or therapy I sit at home 24/7 I lock myself away in my room and spend all my time on the laptop.

I have no clue what I want out of life I dont think I ever have maybe because I dont think I'm good at anything I dont know, I have tried living on my own 3 times but everytime I end up back home because see my mum is so controling in the way that she has never tought or showed me how to do everyday things I'm 28 and I dont even able to wash my own clothes because my mum just treats me like a 15 year old that is unable to do anything.

I have group and therapy tomorrow I did write her a email so I will see what she says about it, I know i'm a danger to myself because I dont know how to put this but I have a thing about collecting pills the pysch gives me mood pills but I dont take them I just save them I know that I never just take one pill I always take more then what I'm meant to. I mean I even make appointments at my doctors and make up things just to get pills at the moment I have over 300 pills. I just feel that if it is not one thing that is something eles, I feel like my whole life is one addiction I'm even addicted to skunk (weed) I cant go one day with out it I smoke it from the moment I wake up to the moment I go bed I spend £100 a week on it, I have tried to get off it but both times I have failed because I'm just a failure.