I get thoughts like that, just blow them off is hard to do but i have to.I am schitzoaffective, bipolar, have seizures and all have been under the control for me for awhile since the doc pt me on clozapine, I also have a t to talk too. I find altough i have to keep some things to myself too for fear of ending up in the hospital, and like you probably feel very scared of you own mind. It is an awful thing to have to live with and i am just saying i can relate to.