I'm having a lot of thoughts of SI right now, just because this mania has become so physically uncomfortable. I want to crawl out of my skin, I want to flay it off, it's too uncomfortable to wear anymore.
My thoughts are racing still, and they seem to just be getting dark. I feel like I'm losing this battle with my illness, I feel like I'm losing my will to fight. Part of me wants to just give up and let it take over.
I don't feel invincible anymore, I feel incredibly vulnerable instead. I want someone to hold me and tell me it will be alright, and then I want to shove them off of me and scream!
I don't even know what I want. My wife asked me last night what she could do for me and I told her I have no idea. I really don't.
__________________
"Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten" - G.K. Chesterton
Dx-
Bipolar Disorder I
PTSD
OCD
Meds-
I am currently Med Free
|