OutlawedSpirit, I'm sorry you are having such a tough time, but I can relate to all you said. I'm kind of in the same spot. My insides are simmering and threatening to over flow. Of course, I'm at work and can't let out the feelings or there will be trouble.
I feel vulnerale too. I'm glad you have your wife to give you hugs. I hope you get to feeling better soon.
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Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin
"Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha