It took me a long time to realize how much children cannot understand what is being said to them, can take it so wrong and take things to heart that are harmful to them and waste time worrying. I still remember when I was told I might grow up to work at a particular job that I really really did not want! I was terrified when you grew up you were just assigned a job (like the old Soviet Union :-) and had no say in it. It took me until I was 23 to realize I knew I wasn't "stupid" and my stepmother should not be allowed to get away with calling me that, that I needed to "reject" her negative, hurtful comments.