That's what everyone tells me, as I was 51 when my husband died a few months ago. I'm not sure that anyone is ever ready to lose their spouse to death, however old they may be. He was five years younger than me, and had no health problems until he was diagnosed with a lung cancer that had metastasized to his bones by the time they found it. He died four months later. The cancer was brutal and horrible, but his death at home was peaceful and loving.

I'm doing okay, and so is my 13 year old son. I have found, through taking care of the business of dying, that it's uncommon to be widowed at my age. Apparently only 1% of single parents are widowed, and I don't know anyone who lost a spouse while still raising their kids.

I think this just feeds into the out-of-sorts feeling I have that is part of my grief over losing him.I've sorted out the practical things I needed to deal with and now I'm struggling with reinvesting in my work-- I'm self employed. I'm sort of at a loss for how to move forward and I'm wondering if anyone out there has been in a similar place.