Teacake, I believe you have all these feelings and they overwhelm you. I think you deserve to be validated the way you need it too.

One day I went to see my therapist and I was very overwhelmed. I sat down and just vented and when I do that I literally fill his room. After I had let it out for a bit he knew exactly when to stop me and get me to pay attention to how I felt and to notice that I had even begun slowing down my speech with much less anger. The reason he did that was to get me to notice that when I let my frustrations out I began to get better at talking to him more calmly, something I had not noticed.

I have uttered very similar things you do because I can't believe how "bad" people can be. My therapist has validated for me that "yes" there are horrible things taking place that human beings are doing to other human beings out there in this world. And many people go along in a kind of oblivion of "that happens to others not me and not here".

I don't think you have really been able to just "let it out" Teacake. I think that you are at a point of awareness that is very challenging and at times overwhelming you. You have been looking to be validated but helped with how to see so much and still function and accept whatever "evils" are just there that you can't do anything about.

Have you experienced this level before? It sounds like you had trauma and maintained, but did not have "this" before.