Hi Want. I too have dealt with depression my whole life. I don't think it's so much 'fake it till you make it' as it is 'if you get out of your rut you might begin to feel better'. I also begged God to take me at different times, but He refused my request, so I figured He wanted me to live. It's important to find something to get excited about, religion, school, a hobby, a new relationship (not necessarily romantic, could be a friend, penpal). Also, making an effort to think positive thoughts and keep the negative away helps. I hope you feel better soon.