((((((((( Jax ))))))))))

No need to feel you should have not brought this up, how else can people learn about something without asking questions? They are good questions, and I apologize if I appeared defensive, sometimes expressing things in a written form can be tricky.
It's okay if you can't forgive, maybe someday you will or you won't and that is fine. The best thing, if possible, is to avoid being around her, especially she is triggering to be around. I have another brother, who since childhood has gotten under my other brother and my skin. People don't always get along or will like each other, that is natural and fine, in such situations it always best to stay away. In the animal kingdom,animals usually stay out of each other's way, from instinct and learning to respect each other's space, if not there will be consequences (sp?) not in all cases though, but if one observes nature they'll see it is evident.
Okay, I'm not equating anyone to animals, but just an example I can think of off hand.
Again, Jax, never feel that you shouldn't drop in here, there are so many things that can be learned from others with their own personal experiences, and if anyone of us see literature on this disorder, they are welcomed to share that too.
I hope something works out between you and her, if not just distance yourself from her, there isn't much you can do otherwise.
Take care now,
DE