Thanks!

I agree that there must be some 'self' to every human being. But for some (or a lot of them) this self has been suppressed for a long time. I know that I used to do things to please my parents, my teachers, my partner, my family, my therapist...

And it's until there comes a moment where you realize that actually it's nobody's job to tell you what to do, and that you are free, you start to wonder who you are. At least, that's how it worked for me.
But it's been a confusing journey. I have been trained to please others. I find it extremely hard to see my 'self' through all of my actions. And sometimes I also don't want to see this. I felt comfortable at least having someone around me who appreciated what I did, you know. It's as if, when you do things for others, you feel like you don't have any responsibility for your action (but of course you do). Being a 'grown up' now, I am terrified by knowing that everything is up to me. My choices, my decisions, my actions, my life...
It forces me to get a clearer view on who I am. We have to go through our days anyway, we have to make choices anyhow... then at least can it be choices that align with who I am? I hope so...