Even through everything that I've gone through, I've felt fine lately. I don't know if that was me, or the Abilify. But since I told my doctor about the anxiety, he lowered my dose of Abilify. And I'm having states of depression again. I don't want to go through this. My last suicide attempt was in March. And I just felt this feeling of impending doom, and I thought about it again. I don't want to die. I just want my pain to stop. I can't believe I got kicked out of college for a math class that I couldn't attend because of my mental illnesses. Right now I'm trying to make it up at a community college so I can return in the fall, and I am so stressed out. It's making me panic. I have so much work to do. All I need is a D- but I feel as if I can't even do that. If I fail this class, I cannot return to the one place I love. I can't live with my best friend or see my boyfriend everyday. I need to pass this class. But the scars on my thighs are telling me to cut again since I probably won't pass this class. I'm sorry to all who read this. I'm just venting.