you gotta somehow get thru that operation. i bet youd be really good working on the ambulance. me im obsessed with medical stuff myself . you are not a noone..you have a very cool personality i bet you could get the patients to forget all about their ailments while they are being transported. i feel exactly like you..like im not good at anything..well i told my therapist im only good at mothering..and we went and talked about things and she made me feel a little better about myself ..maybe if you discuss that with yours she can help you figure something that will bring a lil joy to your life..take care