hi shy, sorry to hear about what's going on....I don't know if I have any good advice but I can tell you that you seem to be a strong person if you're making excuses to your kids. I too have 3 kids but my situation is a little different. I've been married for 14 years and I'm not so sure I'm in love with my husband anymore. he's got an attitude most of the time and I feel like I can't do anything right. I cook, clean, take care of our kids and work part time but I'm just realizing I'm not happy and haven't been for some time now. but see the thing is, Im not strong enough to say " I'm done", that's my problem. I think I'm ready to be alone but in reality, I don't want to be but I don't want to be with anyone else because I've been married for so long and I don't know how my kids would handle it. my oldest is 13 and my youngest is 8. they love there dad and wouldn't bash him either but I'm kinda stuck emotionally and physically. like my sister in law told me one time, get him for child support....lol...I know it sounds mean but if your doing it out of revenge then it is mean but if your doing it for you and your kids, remember you have to think about them first. I know you will be strong because you haven't given up, it hurts and sucks that he did this to you but just give him time. don't go chasing after him, don't text or call him, maybe he'll miss you and the kids and he'll want to come back. but if he doesn't, then be strong for your kids because they need you more than ever and you really need them right now... take it one day at a time...
as for me, well, I don't know what I'm going to do.... take care