This thread got me thinking about my parents. What are your thoughts on your parents?

My thoughts are very conflicted.

My dad should have been arrested on several occasions for domestic abuse against my mother. He hit her, he beat her, he manipulated her, he verbally abused her, he put her in her place because he was the man of the house, he played mind games.. oh yeah, he beat her. And worse, he felt justified in his anger toward her... and he felt our church was behind him... and, when he did admit to some of the things he did, his literally said "well, the Bible says you need to forgive me!".

And I have fantasized about getting him in trouble with the police... and, I think our family would have been better off if he had been arrested back when he first started...

I've also mentioned that my dad's behavior had a profound impact on my my mother's mental health.

But, my dad is in his 70's now, and he is actually doing an okay job of caring for my mother, who is now under treatment for breast cancer. She will have a mastectomy early next month....

My mother is definitely not perfect. and I have memories of the cold and abusive treatment she showed me. I'm still angry at some of the counselors I had when I was in my 20's who just shut me down when I tried to explain it to them.... they made me feel like I was going crazy, because I knew what kind of person she was, and they wouldn't listen... wouldn't even let me talk about it. I'm sure part of the reason she treated us kids poorly is because she was acting out her anger towards my dad. She beat me at least once when I was in kindergarten. and there were times when she was just odd. and other times when she was just mean. and she never hugged us or told us that she loved us. I always got the sense she resented us because we were in her way all the time, and she had other things to do, besides trying to raise kids.

I am angry at the mental health field.... about how it seems they just assumed that everyone who would come to see them grew up in a normal home, and had normal parents... They have no idea. Whether or not they meant to, those mental health professionals tried to convince me that it was my perception that was skewed.

I actually think I should just forgive me dad. Sure, what he did was wrong, and illegal, and he could have been arrested... but, there is no sense trying to bring it up now... it would just cause more harm. Let him take care of my mom in her old age, I say.

and I have to admit there are times when my dad has expressed that he was truly sorry for what he did. and that he has an awareness of how much he affected us (everyone in the family) in negative ways.