As some of you know, I've been manic for the past couple weeks. I finally got to see my regular pdoc last night since she's been on vacation. I told her that the increase in my Geodon wasn't helping, and if nothing else, was making things worse. So she told me to stop taking the extra.

She then proceeded to tell me that she didn't know what else she could do for me. Seriously? You try increasing one med, and say that's the end of the road? She then proceeded to call the ER and tell them I was on my way, before she even asked me if I was willing to go. So I went and sat there for three hours.

I'm starting a partial hospitalization program tomorrow. Hopefully the doctor there is at least somewhat competent and can get this mania under control. I have an appointment next week with a new psychiatrist, hopefully one that doesn't seem overwhelmed by my condition.

I'm just hoping that work doesn't throw a fit about me being off for the next few weeks. I'm going to try to get short-term disability, but the third party that handles it for work has not proven to always be mental health friendly in the past, so I'm really just hoping I still have a job when all this is said and done.

I'm just so frustrated right now, and I'm going on like 4 hours of sleep, although I feel wired. I don't feel like going to sit in group for 6 hours a day, I can barely sit still long enough to write this. I think I'm going to lose my mind.