Hello all.

I have been sober for almost a year. I entered an in house rehab facility for prescription drugs (benzos) and alcohol. After extensive counseling I learned I drank because of my fear of not being in control of others. My wife and mother have always fought and it drove me to drinking to cover up the anxiety that came from their encounters. I pushed my parents away for almost a year and my life has been wonderful until a week ago. We have 2 small children and it wasn't fair for them to not see their grandparents because of what I'm not able to handle. We decided to let them go to my grandparent's house almost 5 hours away. They are currently there and my anxiety has returned to the levels they were at just before I turned to alcohol and xanex. I have forgotten a lot of the counselor's advice about how to deal with this issue. I fear something will happen and my wife and mother will have another blow up. I have developed the habit of waking up at 2-3am everymorning with negative thoughts and an upset stomach which makes my entire day miserable. I feel much better by afternoon though.

My question is, why do I let my wife's mood effect my mood? Why do I fear her being in a bad mood so much? It's not the end of the world but I can't get this into my head. I can handle all other stress with no issues but lately all I want to do is drink the anxiety away but I know that only makes it worse.

Any help out there? I get the kids back this weekend and I'm assuming all my worries will vanish as soon as I put them in my car and head back home but I don't want to ruin all I've worked for being sober for something so terribly absurd.