KD,

I think you made yourself very clear.

Who does have enough energy for "24/7 hypervigilance" as you said?

May I ask do you have an adoptive family also?

I battle boundary maintenance too, but with my husband, b/c of his childhood issues.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I always thought life was supposed to get easier at some point, but evidently neither of us have reached that point -- LOL.

Hugs,

EJ