Well, basically you are going to get the opportynity to learn who YOU really are, not who you are based on what your husband wants you to be.
Personally even though your kids are young, I think it might be good to tell them that their father has some issues that he's left to work through & depending on how he works through them it's definitely possible that he won't be back.
My daughter was already out of the house & moved away when I finally left my H & to be honest, after 33 years I looked back at the issues we had before we got married & realized I was never able to trust him to be a good husband who could take care of financial issues & he had an irritating attitudes that I had realized before the wedding that I didn't like & actually had told my mother I didn't want to get married. My mother assured me that he would become responsible when he grew up (he was already 22) & I thought that well, maybe as how could someone with a computer science degree be the looser that my gut feeling was telling me he was.
We only had one child, but honestly, I wish I had never been married or had gotten a divorce early on.
It's hard to know what's going on in your H's mind as I'm sure he's NOT fully communicating with you as to what is causing his feelings to be what they are. Personally it sounds like you will be better off without him the way he's treating you. I don't know if you have been able to do volunteer work or anything outside of the house. It sounds like since you were with him from the age of 16 that he was pretty much all that your life was about then having 3 kids on top of that & it sounds like he had an attitude against allowing you to have your own life within the marriage.....but at the same time......it might be what he actually have been more the personality that he wanted in a wife.......who knows.
But in reality, it does sound like you will be better off without a guy like that as your H......& it will also give you a real chance to learn the real strengths that you do have & since you have never been on your own....it will definitely give you a good opportunity to find the real you who isn't living their life for doing for one's H & kids.
I found that I went from living at home to being married & even though I got my Accounting/computer science degree & had an engineering career for 15 years.....it was still a wonderful feeling when I left & I could really be myself (but for me anger had built up so bad I was seeing red every time I had to deal with him)......it's better to end a marriage at this point then allowing the anger to build over many years.
I understand how this has been your whole life...& it's a scary feeling when what all you have known ends up ending especially when you were thinking the marriage was find & there was love (at least on your part)....definitely understand your crushed feelings......but when we step back & really LOOK at the marriage in the big picture.....were you really happy being treated the way he treated you by keeping you away from other people? with no friends because he didn't want company......you couldn't even be yourself.
Sometimes things are look bad are really the best thing that could happen in the long run......even for the kids.....& it's not good to have them live around a H who's calling you name. Could be even better for the kids in the long run also.
Bashing Dad....is NOT a good thing but being open & honest about not getting along & even when you look back & are better able to analyze the situation, it's better to be open about it without bashing.
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Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this.
Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018
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