I left a bad marriage after 33 years......moved 2100 miles away to a place where I didn't know anyone & the only family I had left at that point was our daughter but didn't want to live in the state that she settled in. The last 13 years of the marriage had been horrible....but it was bad before that I just had my career to hide out in before that.

My mom died & being an only child, it all went to me & some to our daughter....(I think his parents thought that my inheritance was going to bail him out of the mess he got us into).....but it was my only way to the freedom I should have gone for while I did have my career.

I have a 10 acre farm......that takes more work than this one person is capable of doing...but on disability, I also can't afford to hire help....so it's what I get done is all that gets done....& the house is basically falling apart even though it's not an old house like yours (I looked at several that age...lol.....but reminded me too much of the movie "money pit").

I love being alone & being the one responsible & knowing where my finances stand all the time....& after I left him....it was obvious at how incompetent he really is in handling debt & his monthly bills.....totally irresponsible.

Things weren't cluttered when I first moved here....I actually don't have much furniture.....but it was boxes & things that when I fractured my back 3 years ago.....just got sat down & not moved & things never really had their place.....& I started off with 7 dogs (now I have 3)....as I brought our older babies with me....it's been so hard loosing them.....but at least I was able to care for them.

Not knowing anyone when I came here, I did initially hire a few of the wrong people....but I have found wonderful people who do help me out with some of the things that I end up NOT being able to do.

But the fun is that I have become the plumber.....me & YouTube....any problem, you can usually find the solution on YouTube. Found the right auger to unstop my major stopped up toilet. Then repaired the hose that was leaking on my kitchen sink faucet......even the $2 cute little tool I bought because it was cute....was the tool that was what I used for the sink repair. Lowe's is my best store & have the best help from the people working there.

My H would never do anything to fix anything & I was always frustrated at things NOT getting fixed. I have been able to repair, paint & stain.....but I do have too much work....so I get a few things done at a time & then worry about the rest later. Climbing over boxes & stuff isn't the best environment to live in....but slowly....I will get things organized.

I absolutely LOVE living alone after 33 years of a bad marriage....oh he was nice.....but so totally irresponsible, I couldn't depend on him to take care of anything when I was so sick with depression that I wasn't able to function. Sure he wasn't used to that....but he wasn't able to step up to the plate like I would have been if it were him who had been in my situation. There never was a partnership....& always issues from before we were married. Your H is a functioning alcoholic.....I am sure that much of the issues of my H at the age of 62 is undiagnosed asperger's....he was just dx'ed with adult ADD before I left him...but our pdoc commented during the IRS situation (I have a novel full of financial issues) that he was sure there was more wrong than just the ADD. But financially I have to be free from him as he was destroying me completely if I hadn't.

Feeling trapped in the marriage drove my depression into the deep depths & there were many unsuccessful attempts I had to get out of the marriage any way I could.....but at the time I didn't understand that was why or what was happening. Sometimes we can't see the forest for the trees....amazing what distance can do for our ability to understand what we were going through.