((Patagonia)),

Maybe try a different therapy, DBT for example which can give you some tools to work with. Some therapists actually learn different types of therapies to help a patient who is stuck. It sounds like your therapist has not done that and only relies on talk therapy and gets stuck when a patient stops talking and freezes.

Trauma can leave a hole and a person can be afraid of it, or not know how to get to it so often what works is working around that hole gradually until you can see some of the things that are "hurts" in it, that can be shared and validated with a therapist. A pushy and strong minded controlling therapist is "never" a good fit for someone struggling with PTSD. And that is especially true if the child in the patient had to deal with an abuser that was like that, that will only "increase" the desire to "shut down" without the PTSD patient even being aware that is what is taking place. A therapist who doesn't realize that and pushes harder when the patient shuts down is "bad" for a PTSD patient.

Patagonia, you have been disconnecting from "who you were", I noticed that when you stopped doing your art. Did you know a lot of people do that who have PTSD? A lot of that is an effort to get away from the person you were because that person got hurt. You were a strong person before you developed PTSD, but that strong person got hurt and you need to have a great deal of "trust" in a therapist to talk about all that, you need to know "it will be safe".

Can you identify what makes you feel "uncomfortable" about this therapist you have been seeing?

Did you ever feel this rejection coming with her?

Just something to think about that might help you pinpoint this better, often we hold back not knowing "why".

OE