Thank you for your answers guys, it is helpful. I just don't understand it and I am becoming a bit obsessed in trying to figure it out. I never knew my many headaches could be something related to any of this... I am staying with my MIL for a bit till our house is ready and she comments all the time about how many headaches I get, and it never bothered me, I just learned to live with them.

I think you are right Kiya in the EMDR could cause worse dissociation, I beleive she saw that after last visit I just end into some kind of extreme hyperarousal that I haven't had in a while. She is my first trauma therapist so I can only assume I associate her now with the part I have been trying to forget for so long and she now has become a trigger because of it. I was fine in group right before our appointment and then the second I saw her it was like I snapped or morphed or whatever. And tho I don't remember the full appointment, I do remember some of it... I just thought I had a really bad memory...