I pushed them away when they appeared impatient.... it's complicated. I think I wasn't ready to fully invest in the journey and they weren't the right fit for me also...... I knew nothing about therapy when I saw the first T and was traumatised by him when I saw the second T (counsellor) and didn't bond with her as she wanted.......

I've interviewed some other T's recently who were female. I think I need a male T again. Thanks for your insightful reply!